I just have to get this off of my chest.
To be quite honest... I miss you more than I thought I would. I looked at our pictures today, the old ones, from the good days. And I really missed you. At least, I missed the person that was in those pictures. I feel like I don't even know you anymore. Isn't it scary to think that after so many years of knowing your deepest, darkest secrets, that I know almost nothing about the person I shared so much with?
I hope you remember all the times that I was there for you. When everything happened after graduation, and on the day of prom, who was there outside your house to make sure you were ok? Nope. It wasn't your "wifey". It was me. Who did you call to cry to? When he broke up with you, whose shoulder did you cry on? Do you even remember all the little moments like that? It doesn't (outwardly) seem like you do. But I do, and it kills me inside.
I will tell you just as I have told other friends: God will always be here for you, whether you like it or not. And so will I.
But you have to realize that the way you portray yourself, that wall that you're so scared will crumble, is the image you portray to others. You always have to be doing something. And that's fine, but don't forget that there are more important things in life. Like sisters. And, even more importantly, like God.
Please stop thinking that you can't open up to guys you like. Please do that. It's perfectly healthy. Even if he breaks your heart, you learned something. Move on and move up. That's life. But don't ever forget to take God as your partner in everything you do. That's really the only way you will achieve true success.
I'm not writing this to you for you to get mad. That's the opposite of what I want to do. But I never talk to you, and the times I do, it's extremely awkward. Do you know why? Is there something you need to tell me? Because I have pretty much told you everything that I have needed to say to you.
I really feel like a stranger in your life. Does that affect you at all?
Your actions speak otherwise.