Sunday, July 20, 2008

You Know You're A Cuban When...

I saw this on a website and thought it was epecially true for my crazy family.
Enjoy, both Cuban & non-Cuban friends! :)

- You grew up scared of Bichos and una nalgada
- If you know the meaning of "esa chica esta de madre"
- If others tell you to stop screaming when you are really talking.
- You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold.
- If you light a candle on the night of the Lotto drawing.
- If dinner usually consist of rice, beans and some kind of meat.
- If you have ever used your nose or lips to point something out.
- If you ever drop food on the floor, picked it up, ate it after saying "lo que no mata engorda."
- If you constantly refer to cereal as con flei.
- If you've ever gotten yelled at by your abuelos for spending mad money and then gotten a "Cuando llegamos de Cuba..."
- If you have ever been hit with a chancleta or papi's cinturon
- If you know your mom is near because you hear an "OYE!"
- You know your mom is sneaking up on you cause you can hear her "chancletas" flapping on the linoleum floor.
- If you can get to your house blind folded because of the smell of chuletas is so strong.
- If your grandparents still have plastic on their couches.
- If you just can't imagine anyone not liking Cuban food.
- If you have at least thirty cousins que todavia viven en Havana or its sister town, Hialeah
- If you consider platanos to be a food group.
- If you live in Elisebe (Elizabeth), Junion Ceety, (Union City) or Wes Nu Jor (west NY) or even know where they are
-If your abuelos are constantly comparing things here to things in Cuba and affirming Cuba was better.
- If your family reunions consist of all types of food, dominoes, political talk, music and lots of people and screaming.


Lauren said...

Very funny...sad thing is I'm not cuban and I recognize each one.

Anonymous said...

Im cuban and this was aweosme..haa..i showd mi mama y ella dije "cojone madre!" haha

CubaLibre68 said...

I so know what you mean!!!!!! Crazy Cubans are so much fun and I am so proud to be Cuban!

My favorite flavors of milkshakes are mamey, fruta bomba, and guanabana.

"Vivaparub" (meaning Vick's Vapor Rub) is the greatest invention of time and can cure all that ails you.

I have a semi-chemical-dependence on Cuban cafe.

For lunch I would love to eat una media noche with un batido de mamey everday (but I can't or my behind would be bigger than it already is). I am still wondering what a peanut butter and jelly sangwhich (sandwhich) is.

I also have a fear of una nalgada and am especially afraid of the words "lo que te espera".

On outings (like baseball games), I take el thermos con el cafe instead of water bottles or hot chocolate.

I consider milk (leche de vaca, leche evaporada y leche condensada) to be its own important food group. How else would you make tres leches or arroz con leche?

My family get-togethers, which happen at least once a week, consist what others consider general screaming. I also am accustomed to people calling me to say, "Oye, I'm outside of your house. Are you home? If you are I'd love to stop in and give you "whatever" or just talk about "whatever"".

I still ask my abuela "hazme cafe y traeme agua" even through I am full grown and if I even try to make coffee she tells me to get out of "her kitchen".

I don't believe in "brujeria" but I respect it anyway.

I say "oye", "no me digas" or "y ven aca" even if you are seated next to me.

To display dismay, I say "no jodas" and "le ronca el mango".

The babies in the family smell like violetas (Augustin Reyes)and and wear a "Dios me Bendiga" pin with an azabache or a cadena with medallas of all the saints. The bed sheets and curtains in the house smell of Kolonia 1800 and every drawer in the house has a bar of soap to scent the clothing.

When I have a dolor de barriga, I make pure de malanga and te de tilo con manzanilla y anis.

My family runs on CPT (Cuban People Timing), in other words we are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS late, no matter what the occasion is. I was an hour late to my wedding (according to my family's invitations) and 75% of my family still wasn't even there. My husband's family's invitations said 11 am, while my family's invitations said 9:30am. We planned for CPT, and it worked. The wedding ceremony started at 11:15am.

I've answered my phone and heard "Quien es?" from the person calling. And I still think 'Ummm, excuse me it seems that you have called me, shouldn't you tell me who you are? Just a suggestion.'

I am guilty of saying or agreeing to "en Cuba era mejor... en Cuba no pasa (or pasaba) eso... etc".

ore said...

That is so very true about us cubans and i very frkn proud about been one.

Anonymous said...

Puerto Ricans do it too. I love the pointing with the lips.